I have a love/hate relationship with book to movie adaptations.
There are the books that I fall in absolute love with and hope to have a movie made for them, but then I get nervous because I don't want them to completely botch the thing (cough Divergent cough)..
So, it's a complicated relationship for me.

There have been a few that I've seen recently that I have truly loved though.
Sadly, it's a short list and not all of my favorites are on here, but these are the ones that I highly recommend to everyone.

Harry Potter Series

This one is a given, right?! Like the rest of the fandom, I absolutely love all of the Harry Potter movies! I think these movies were perfectly cast, especially Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They found a beautiful way to bring life to a beloved series and were able to capture the true magic behind these books.

The Hunger Games Series

There's a reason why these movies are the best out of any young adult book to movie adaptations that release.. They stay true to the books in every movie. The people behind them know how to reach both book lovers and movie goers, and I can't help but appreciate them. I love these movies as much as I love the books. I felt all the emotions and strength from the words come alive onto the big screen, and that's why I think they're so great.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

"It is a universally acknowledged truth that high school sucks. In fact, high school is where we are first introduced to the basic existential question of life: How is it possible to exist in a place that sucks so bad?"

This movie has a special place in my heart because it's such an honest take on growing up and finding yourself. I love Jesse Andrews's writing, and the humor along with their whole personalities of his characters were perfectly cast and brought to life in this movie. There is just a beautiful message through this story. The ending is a killer and broke my heart in a good way. I can't recommend this movie enough.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

This is my favorite book.
Charlie's story is such a beautiful one. Just like the book, this movie captures how one feels growing up and feeling completely different or out of place. It's about learning how to accept yourself and knowing that you deserve love. There were a few things left out of the movie from the book that I would have loved to see, but it wasn't a deal breaker for me. The cast is perfection. The writing is great. I just love, love, love all of it.

The Maze Runner Series

Ok, so I might be in the minority on this one but I really love these movies. It's most likely because Dylan O'brien brings Thomas to life perfectly.. To be honest though the movies are completely different from the books, I mean there are similarities (of course) but they changed a lot. This is one of those things that I've learned to accept because I enjoy it too much not to. I'm able to separate the books from the movies which allows me to enjoy them. I think they're a lot of fun!

- - -

Those are just a few of my favorite book to movie adaptations.
If you haven't read any of these books then I think you'd still enjoy these movies!
Have you read any of these books and/or seen the movies? Did you enjoy them? Leave me a comment and let me know!



Simply Nicollette's recap posts for The 100 will contain spoilers.

What a creepily, good episode!
It all looks like it's leading up to an epic season finale! Maddi and I are excited to be sharing our thoughts about each episode throughout this entire season with you. You can read our recap of "Nevermore" here.
Let's talk about this episode!

Demons Synopsis:

"Jaha returns to Polis, and Murphy has a surprise encounter. Meanwhile, Octavia uncovers a clue."

Maddi - The 100 opens with us back at the 100’s current home, the cave. Miller, Bryan, and Harper are gathered around a fire as a storm rages outside. Miller asks the others if they have heard the one about the massacre on Alpha station, as he gets ready to tell them a story. Bryan tries to sleep as Miller begins his story. . . "It wasn’t long after Unity Day. Generation one didn’t know they were going to leave the ground forever, some of them lost their minds."

Bryan chimes in that he’s not listening. That they’re meeting the others in six hours and they need sleep as Miller reveals Bryan hates ghost stories, but Harper wants to hear it, as she challenges him to scare her, so Miller continues on. . .

"There’s this one guy. Brazilian. Captain Fardargo, that was his name. He started to see his dead wife and kids in his dreams. They were all burnt up from the bombs. He told the ship's doc that they looked like demons. After a while, he started to see them when he was awake too. He would beg and beg and beg them to leave him alone, just to stop. They said the only way they would leave him alone was if he did one thing. . . kill. His weapon of choice - a metal hook. He murdered eleven people in one night. He gutted them and strung them up in the mess. Worst part of it, when the guards found him, he was cut into pieces too. He wrote a single word with his own blood on the floor, with the arm he didn’t hack off. . . Demons," Miller whispers as a boom of thunder sounds outside.

Bryan trying discreetly to cover his ears with his hands, not wanting to hear anymore as Miller continues. . . "You know that scraping sound we hear at Alpha station sometimes. Some say that’s Fardargo’s ghost. Dragging his metal hook along the walls. Begging the demons to stop. . . but they never do. . . and he’s back looking for his next victim," Miller says as he sneaks up on Bryan, scaring him.

Kristy - I know it's not Halloween or anything, but that opening was creepy and scary!

M - Miller leaves, telling them to listen out for that hook, as he goes to answer nature’s call. Harper tells Bryan to relax. Reminding him that there are no demons out there, just Grounders who didn’t hear the blockade was lifted, as Bryan points out, "And an army of chipped Arkadians." Suddenly Harper and Miller hear a faint noise coming from where Miller just disappeared to, Bryan grabs his gun and gets up to go check it out, as Harper jokes when they find Captain Fardargo get him to chop up some more fire wood for them.

Bryan disappears too, a silence falls over the cave before there’s another noise, a crash, worrying Harper who thinks that it’s Miller messing with her. After no response from the guys she grabs her gun and gets up as the storm outside gets worse. She calls to them but no one answers. She yells out that "This isn’t funny anymore," calling to them as she slowly walks towards where they went. She gets to the entrance but no one's there. Harper tells the empty air in front of her that they win. They got her, and can stop messing around. Harper hears a noise and spins around to find something standing right behind her, something that looks like a black monster, as she lets out a chilling scream as it cuts out and we go into the opening credits. I don’t know about you but I could just see that those eerie eyes were looking out from a mask, but the question is - what lies beneath it?

M - Finally we return to a glimpse of Polis. Ontari and Murphy are walking among the markets as everyone offers blessings to their new Heda, when someone quietly calls to Murphy. It’s Emori. I know we’ve all been wondering what happened to her. Emori is using the cover that she’s a vendor to get into Polis. Emori tells him she’s been looking for him since he had been taken. I knew she would have, I knew she wouldn’t just leave Murphy. She mentions it wasn’t until she heard rumors of the new Heda’s handsome new Skaikru Flamekeeper did she finally know where he was. Emori points out she taught him well and that the new Heda is one hell of a mark, and that she wants in.

This did strike me odd. I know they made their living as thieves and fooling others, but I only saw Murphy in this position because he was doing what he needed to do to survive, not trying to con the new Heda, he didn’t plan this as he was thrown into this situation. I guess I thought she’d be more concerned or try to help him escape.

K - I completely agree. I thought Emori would be more concerned for Murphy and help him escape instead of trying to get "in" with his mark of the new Heda. I guess that should've been a warning that something was up with her. . .

M - By stopping to talk to Emori, Murphy fell behind and before they can continue Ontari returns looking for him, as they quickly hide their conversation. Ontari orders him not to fall behind again as she marches off. Murphy quickly tells Emori to follow this street, alley on the left, black door half way down as he promises to get away as soon as he can.

M - Over in the rover, the 100 are on the move. Raven is dissecting Becca’s journal, finding it amazing that at only 26, Becca found a pathway to access a human mind. That same year she had to lock-up A.L.I.E because her answer for what was wrong with the world was too many people. She was 27 when A.L.I.E launched the bombs. Clarke asks her what did she write about the flame, the second A.I, Becca saw it as a way to atone for her sins. She designed it not to just access the human mind, but to merge with one. It could never wipe them out because it would be one of them as they find out Becca put it in herself first, the first Commander. Becca altered her genes so her body wouldn’t reject the implant, Raven tells them, as Monty fiddles with the chip, clearly eyeing it off, drawn to it and the possibility of not feeling his pain anymore, just like anyone would be.

K - Will Monty be the one to eventually take the chip? He might want to get rid of his pain.. or he might want to see if his mom is truly in this City of Light everyone talks about..

M - Clarke asks Raven if the gene therapy had made her blood black. Raven confirms it as Octavia asks her how she knew that. Clarke responds with, "Nightblood. That’s where it came from," as she says what we all thought that somehow it’s become hereditary, but it’s clearly rare as there are only a few known Nightbloods at a time, now only two remaining. 

Clarke says Luna has it and that’s why they have to find her. It seems Clarke finally had time to tell them about what happened to Lexa and what Ontari did. Now the question is how can they find Luna and stop A.L.I.E, they can’t do both? As they realize that if Luna can access the second A.I, she can tell them how to stop A.L.I.E, finding Luna becomes their priority.

Monty asks them to get the conversation back to the mind pathway as he points out if A.L.I.E uses it to upload their minds into the City of Light, then there’s a chance his mum is still alive. Raven tells him that it depends on your definition of alive. Monty clearly wants to see his mum again, hoping a part of her may yet still be alive. Technically her mind may be there but there’s no saying what has become of it. It may still be under the control of A.L.I.E and we don’t know what they could have done to it.

Bellamy announces to get ready as they are almost home. They’re going home to Arkadia. But why, that is very risky. Last time they left everyone was being controlled. They don’t know how many of them there could be or what they’re walking into. Bellamy radios to Miller, then to Harper when he doesn’t get a response. Telling them they're two minutes away, but there’s still no answer as Clarke and Bellamy look at each other with worried expressions, as an uneasy Jasper sarcastically says, "Good start."

K - Did anyone else love hearing Bellamy say, "We're almost home," because I sure did!

M - They arrive at Arkadia to find that there’s still no gate after Jasper smashed it down. Jasper points out, "Maybe because there’s no one here to fix it," as they carefully, with their guns aimed, walk back into their home. I have to say how badass did everyone look then, in formation, working as a team, they kind of looked unstoppable. 

K - This is what made me originally fall in love with The 100. The way these characters are thrown together, despite their differences, all with the same goal of trying to survive by working together.

M - “It’s like a ghost town,” Raven whispers, as the silence brings forth the eeriness. The emptiness of a home and it’s missing people. Bellamy radios Miller again, asking them where they are after not showing up to meet. A tense Bellamy does not like this, as Jasper suggests, “Maybe they got chipped." Bellamy pointing out, “If they got chipped, they’d be waiting for us at the cave." Jasper continues offering explanations, "Maybe they saw the open gate and went in for Lincoln’s book." “Maybe you should stop saying maybe,” Octavia chimes in, as everyone continues to grow more nervous. 

Now we finally know the reason why they went back to Arkadia. They need Lincoln’s book. I forgot that he has a map to the boat people, to Luna. I still thinks it’s odd, from what they know everyone was being controlled and they are outnumbered, but they went in there with a few guns and a rover, what exactly was their plan. I don’t think they would have had much of chance if the people, and A.L.I.E were still there. It’s just lucky no one was home. 

K - Yea, that didn't seem like such a great plan. . .

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M - Clarke points out, “If they are chipped, A.L.I.E already knows we're coming,” as they continue moving through the camp, now on high alert. Octavia sees something and stops in her tracks, followed by Bellamy. They’re looking at a pile of blood on the ground. My first thought was that something has happened here, that someone has most likely been killed and that’s when I realize that they already have been. . . Lincoln. Octavia breaks her gaze from the ground and tells them with pain in her voice, “Let's get his book and get the hell out of here." Not wanting to stay there any longer, to see his blood, and the place where his life was taken. Jasper agreeing, “That’s a plan I can support." Clarke is confused, not truly understanding what’s going on until Bellamy leans over and whispers "Lincoln" to her. Clarke stares at the place Lincoln died, as once again it hits home what has become of her people when she left them and wasn’t there for them, and wonders if the outcome could have been different if she had stayed, as she sees the blood of one of her friends. 

K - Well that was heartbreaking to see Octavia so vulnerable. We can tell that she's still angry and hurt, and she's trying so hard to mask her pain, that's what makes this so hard to watch while she goes through all of this. I don't think any of them really know what to say to her either.. I don't think there is any right thing TO say.

M - They enter the Ark, sealing the doors behind them, and themselves inside. I’m pretty sure that’s not a good idea, they have no idea how long Arkadia has been empty, anyone or anything could have walked in. I can’t help but continuously think back to where was everyone? Why did they leave? What did A.L.I.E do with everyone? Where did she send them? I can’t stop questioning - why?

Everyone begins to explore the room. It’s also empty of people as they notice there are plates of food that have yet to be finished, items still left where they had been in use. An eeriness of what was once there. “It’s like they just got up and walked away,” Clarke comments. Bellamy directs everyone to grab what they can and to pack as much supplies as they can get into the rover as Octavia offers to get the map, Jasper going with her, “I’ll go with her, no one should be alone." I think Jasper meant more by this than just implying the possible danger, but as support for Octavia, knowing this isn’t easy for her, and what she must do next.

Raven questions what’s the rush, positive they won’t be coming back. Clarke asks her how she knows. “A.L.I.E’s mission is to chip everyone, it wouldn’t make sense to return to a place she already took.” What Raven said was logical and true, but A.L.I.E won’t just let them run around trying to ruin and destroy her mission. . . So, I’m still wondering why they left Arkadia unguarded and as far as we know she’s yet to send someone to hunt them down, now that they know her weakness. Sinclair adds, “It might make sense if there was someone in that place, i.e. you, who could tell us stuff like that.”

I had thought of that too along with Sinclair. If they had someone connected to A.L.I.E in her City of Light they could learn useful things, but what we saw happen to Raven, she was consumed and could fight it for only so long, even with her strength. Though that thought was also connected to the theory we have going of someone taking the chip they are currently carrying. I did say someone would take it but what I didn’t put was that ironically I also thought that someone might take it to purposely get access to A.L.I.E, but I thought it was impossible after how we saw her take over Raven. But now after Sinclair said it I think it is now possible, and that Bellamy might be the person for it. Though I don’t need to tell you how dangerous it is. A.L.I.E offers to remove their pain and we all know they all have much of it. It can be tempting. Then she takes your memories and they lose themselves and their control, and that’s why I said it's impossible. So will the chip be taken by someone suffering, who can’t bear it anymore and is trying to escape, or someone trying to infiltrate A.L.I.E? 

The chip theory came from a picture that was released. It looked like the scene may have something to do with the upcoming Bellarke hug. In the scene Bellamy is shown saying, “I don’t want to feel that way anymore." That’s where the theory of him taking the chip began and that Clarke will be the one to stop him. But here’s another theory: what if he’s already taken it to get access to A.L.I.E and he’s fighting the temptation of giving in, and Clarke may be the only one to help him hold on. Both theories are optional. . . I can’t wait to see what will happen! 

K - Wow, I didn't even think of that reasoning for Bellamy to be the one to take the chip. After what Sinclair said, it does make sense given that Bellamy is strong and even though he's suffering I'm sure that he believes he's strong enough to fight losing himself completely to A.L.I.E. Now I'm really interested to see what happens!

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M - Octavia and Jasper arrive at Lincoln’s room, the pain obvious on her face as she opens the door to the place he once called home. Octavia slowly walks in and stops when she sees his jacket. Unable to stop herself from reaching for it, she picks it up, and smells it. The smell of the man she loved. The man that was not too long ago standing right there, standing next to her. The memory breaks her as she looses control. Breaking down. 

Jasper can see her struggling so he reminds her, “You remember when you told me it gets better." “This is not the same thing,” Octavia tells him. “It’s okay to fall apart a little, Octavia. You loved him." I loved when Jasper said this. It’s a big change from the guy we saw last week. The way he’s been towards both Monty and Octavia since they have recently lost someone speaks volumes. I think he’s finally going down a different path and beginning to recover and heal in his own way. I hope in time he can help Octavia. Octavia angrily replies, “A warrior doesn’t mourn the dead until the war is over." Angry at herself for feeling grief when she thinks it’s not right to. It just shows how much of the Grounder ways she believes in. As she searches through Lincoln’s things, looking for his book, Jasper gives her a minute and steps out into the hall. 

K - I loved this moment between Jasper and Octavia also. I definitely think we are seeing another side to Jasper, and seeing how he's trying to be a better friend because he sees how easy it is for all of them to lose someone close to them. This is a cruel world they are living in right now, and anyone can get killed, and I think he finally understands this.

M - Octavia finally finds the book. She opens it and of course finds the portrait Lincoln drew of her, back before everything happened or began. A piece of what started their relationship, a piece of them. She continues looking through it until she finds the map. “Luna. We're on our way." Octavia begins to pack things up when there’s a faint noise, enough for it to catch her attention, and she spins around. It’s Jasper with blood dripping from his head, barely able to walk, as he moans something incoherent and drops to the ground. Octavia runs to him, trying to wake him up when something charges her, grabs her from behind, and chokes her as everything goes black.

A major shocking wtf moment. The fear that went through me when for a second I thought they could be dead was terrible, because technically we don’t know if they are alive. The other question being what is it or who is it? Is it real? Is it not? 

K - I was literally like "wtf" when this happened.. It came out of nowhere and I was pissed because, at first like you said, it did seem like they could be dead!


M - Back at Polis, Murphy is evidently waiting for Emori. He leads her into the Flamekeeper’s temple (also known as the room with the drawings, as I so elegantly put it before I found a more correct/better name). Emori has never set foot in this room before, so when she sees the drawings all over the temple walls it catches her eye.

K - First off, how cute are Murphy and Emori? I'm not going to lie when I say I'm actually happy that Murphy found someone he loves and that person cares about him, too.

M - Emori walks to the pod and says, “I recognize some of this tech," which is weird since technically it’s Skaikru technology not Grounder. Murphy mistakes it as her meaning something else as he says, “Let me guess, the Flamekeeper was one of your customers.” She’s drawn to one of the drawings on the wall, the one of the woman, standing above the rest as a savior in the darkness, their first Commander (also known as Becca, a Sky Person and creator of A.L.I.E). Emori asks him who it is. He tells her, “They call her Becca prom Heda. She was the first Commander." A shocked and awed Emori can only repeat her name in a whisper, not able to take her eyes away from the drawing. 

That was all it took to give away what was really going on. That she had sadly been chipped. Her out of character reactions to the drawing, like someone who had never heard the story, who had never seen anything like it, with the type of curiosity, admiration, and awe A.L.I.E would have seeing it. That’s exactly what I saw, not Emori seeing them but A.L.I.E. Which is insane when you think about it for the actors to be able to portray that, that I could actually see A.L.I.E seeing those drawings for the first time.

K - The first time I watched the episode, of course I thought nothing of this besides Emori acting just a little weird.. Then watching it a second time I can see A.L.I.E's curiosity showing through Emori, and I can't believe I missed it the first time.

M - Murphy questions Emori about believing in this religious stuff, which he believes it to be crap. As they continue to move through the room, Emori taking in everything. Then she sees the written words “seek higher things”, and this gets an even more powerful response from her before her and Murphy get back to having some alone time.

M - Back at Arkadia everyone is still searching the camp. Bellamy blasts into the armory and finds stacks of ammo before radioing to the others to meet him there, that they got lucky. Is anyone else wondering why A.L.I.E left supplies? Especially ammo? She obviously knows they’re going to use it. 

Clarke goes to meet him but Raven tells her to leave the second A.I. Clarke of course questions why, and Raven says she may know how to activate it but Clarke’s dubious as she questions how, without a Nightblood. Raven’s found a code for activating it with a spoken word. Clarke asks what phrase could do that but Raven tells them it could be anything. Raven deduces that it was in Lexa, she would have known it, but Clarke tells her Lexa didn’t even know she was an A.I. Raven tells her that’s the thing though, “She wasn’t an A.I, her mind was just enhanced by one. I’m guessing the reason she didn’t know is because the program degraded over time. Parts of it got lost. Think Clarke. It might have been a phrase that meant something to Lexa. Words she said over and over again."

I’m pretty sure we all had the same thought as Clarke tries activating it with “blood must have blood” but to no avail. She tries it again but in Trigedasleng “jus drein jus daun". Still nothing happens. Monty picks up Becca’s journal and sees the phrase written on it and speaks “seek higher things”. Once again nothing happens. Then Raven remembers Becca’s book is full of Latin phrases but Raven can’t read those, but luckily Sinclair can as he tries to translate it. He tries a first translation but it doesn’t work, so he goes for a less literal translation “ascende superius” and the chip flares to life.

M - Raven tries to pick up the chip with a tool but it shuts off so she leans forward and activates it again, speaking the phrase, as she continues to lean towards it, being drawn to it. Clarke stops her just in time, before she touches it. “It’s like it sensed your mind,” Monty says awestruck. Clarke tells them, “When someone without the blood takes the Flame, the Flame takes their life."

Sinclair points out there must be another way to access the code. Raven says there isn’t, and until they find it a host, they won't know how to stop A.L.I.E. “Then let's find it a host. Come on, Bellamy’s waiting. And so is Luna,” Clarke says as her and Monty go to meet Bellamy, as Raven and Sinclair stay behind.

K - I'm all for them finding Luna and placing the chip inside of her mind, but I'm also a little nervous that she won't be the best ally for them. . . If there's one thing I've learned from this show, it's that you can't trust anyone so easily.

M - Clarke and Monty are walking among the halls of the Ark. “Once we find Luna, this will all be over. Onatri will be exposed as a fraud, and the A.I will tell us how to shut down A.L.I.E,” Clarke says, now on a determined mission. Monty stops in his tracks and asks her, “If we shut down A.L.I.E, what happens to the City of Light?” As you realize Monty is suffering in the same way Clarke is. Clarke holds onto the second A.I because a part of it is Lexa and a part of Monty’s mum is in the City of Light. They are more alike in this moment then I thought. Both struggling, not wanting to lose that last piece of someone they’ve already lost. “Your mum will come back like Raven did. . . What about mine,” Monty tells Clarke, but before she can answer, music starts randomly playing nearby as a weird feeling fills the air as everything stops, our hearts jump in fear as Clarke whispers, “Someone’s here."

Clarke begins to move towards the music when Monty grabs her strongly, saying, “Following the creepy music is a bad idea." I think we can all agree on that! Clarke ignores his warning, Monty sarcastically saying, “Or we can follow the creepy music." They turn a corner and see a music box in the middle of the floor as they continue to slowly walk towards it. Of course the closer they get the more the music box tune starts to degrade making the moment even creepier. Clarke picks up the music box and looks underneath it to see the name of Aaron written on the bottom.

Immediately thoughts are racing through my head. Aaron. . . I don’t recall that name being said, are they Skaikru? However the music box did give away a vital clue to who or what is doing this. It’s clearly a person, and there are only two cultures on the ground that have music boxes or know of them. Skaikru and Mountain Men. Grounders wouldn’t know what it was or how it worked, or know of the attention it would track. So who is doing it? 

K - My mind automatically went to the Mountain Men because I know they had a lot of keepsakes from the world before the bombs.

M - Monty desperately says, “I don’t like this, we should go." I think it’s a bit too late for that, it was clearly a trap to lure you in and you fell straight into it. There’s a sudden noise and the room begins to fill with gas as Clarke yells for them to run! But the monster appears, coming from the other way, trapping them. Clarke sees this as Monty falls to the ground and knows she can’t out run them so she’s going to out smart them. I knew from that look in her eyes she was up to something, that she was still awake. When the person reaches them knocked out on the floor, clearly wearing a mask, they go to check Clarke’s pulse. That’s when she opens her eyes and attacks, pulling off the mask and kicking them.

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M - Clarke runs as the person reaches for their mask before the gas gets to them. Outside Bellamy is waiting, Clarke comes running, calling for him as she falls into his arms. Bellamy asks what’s going on and Clarke, struggling to breathe, manages to choke out one word. . . "Emerson." Now it all makes sense but seriously this guy just doesn’t go away. 

K - I guess I should've known that Clarke had to deal with some part of her past, since the title of this episode is called "Demons". I just didn't think that Emerson was ever going to come back since he was banished, but he is really bent on revenge for Clarke.

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M - Back at Polis, Murphy encourages Emori to leave Polis that it’s not safe, but she reassures him that she can look after herself. Emori begins to laugh, amazed, asking him how he pulled this off. Murphy just says he’s doing what he can to survive. Again he says he wants her to leave, “Ontari, she’s crazy and that’s coming from me. The only reason why I’m still breathing is she thinks I know how to make her the Commander.” Emori questions this, “I thought she was the Commander."

Murphy tells her, “Not technically, no. To be the Commander you have to shove a computer chip in your brain. These fools think its reincarnation.” Emori asks him, “Why would you think you could do this?” He tells her, ”Because I saw it come out of the last Commander,” as he asks her not to ask about the complicated story. “So what do you do for her now,” Emori inquiries about the new Commander. “She’s taken a liking to me,” he reluctantly tells her. “Who can blame her,” Emori says, understanding the situation he’s in and that he’s just trying to stay alive, when there’s a sudden knock on the door. It’s a man carrying a message that Ontari has summoned him. Murphy kisses her a final good-bye before leaving. 

K - I understand how Emori would see where Murphy was coming from, how he's doing everything that he is just to stay alive.. but why did Emori seem so happy about this? Why didn't she try to help him get out of Polis? This is when I began to realize that something really was not right with her. . .

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M - At Arkadia Clarke and Bellamy have gone back for Monty, but he’s not there. Emerson has taken him. As Clarke tries to figure out why Bellamy radios for his sister, worry crossing his face when no one responds. Clarke blames herself for what Emerson has done to her friends because she made the choice to let him live. Bellamy asks her what she’s talking about, not knowing about what happened at Polis. “In Polis. I had the chance to kill him, I let him go,” regret in Clarke’s voice, as if she made the wrong choice.
Raven radios them asking, "What’s wrong?" Bellamy asks them if they’re okay and where are they. Raven responds saying they are still in engineering. Clarke grabs the radio and urgently tells Raven that Emerson is here and asks if the others are with her. Raven tells them it’s only her and Sinclair. Clarke tells her to lock down the hangar bay and don’t let anyone in but them. Sinclair races to lock the doors but we all know that it’s too late and that Emerson is already inside, and right on cue the lights go out. As we see what Emerson is seeing through night vision goggles, he sneaks up behind Raven. Raven manages to get a message through before she is knocked down. Raven screams for Sinclair to open the outer doors, but without power it has to be done manually, and they can’t see a thing. 

K - Raven also realized what this is all about, as Sinclair asked her if Emerson was chipped. He obviously thought that A.L.I.E probably sent him after them. . . but no, Raven knows that he probably just wants revenge. That's why he's there.

M - Clarke and Bellamy arrive but can’t get through the door and come to the same conclusion as they run for the outer door. Emerson goes after Sinclair and he tries to fight him blind, he lands a hit as he yells for Raven to get back in the rover and lock the door. The outer door begins to open, Raven is sitting in the rover when there’s a scream of pain from someone being hurt. As light begins to enter the room once again, there’s movement as Sinclair appears, the front of his shirt covered in blood. 

Raven gets out of the rover to go to him and he desperately tells her to stay in the rover. Raven tells him she’s going to get him out of here and he tells her that it’s okay. As Raven tries to stop the bleeding all Sinclair can say again and again is, "Stay in the rover." He begs her to get in the rover, begging for her to be safe and to live because that’s the most important thing to him. But it’s too late Emerson takes Raven and that’s the last thing Sinclair sees before he dies, someone he cares about being taken away, her life being put in jeopardy, and knowing there’s nothing he can do to help. 

K - This was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen.. Sinclair was like a father to Raven, and Raven was like a daughter to him. This whole season we've seen them grow and I've loved every bit of their relationship. I'm really sad to see Sinclair go, and my heart just breaks because he truly sacrificed himself for the one person he had left and the one person he loved. Now, we can only hope that Raven survives - for Sinclair and herself.

M - Bellamy and Clarke finally arrive. Clarke goes straight to Sinclair and checks his pulse, and then reaches to shut his eyes, the horror still set upon them. “We're too late,” is all Bellamy can say as Bellamy once again puts all the blame on himself by not being able to save Sinclair. You did the best you could. You did all you could. 

But by now it’s obvious what Emerson is here for.. to kill them all. Even though technically only three of these people were involved in the killing of his people, and the rest are innocent, that doesn’t matter to him. He wants Clarke to feel his pain, the pain he felt from losing all his people and his family he cared about. That’s why he took them, not to use them, to get Clarke, knowing she won’t let anything happen to them and would easily sacrifice herself. He wants her to watch them die just like he did. But the one question I can't stop thinking about is how did he find them? How did he know where they were and what they were doing? All I can come up with is that he was using a radio to listen in on them. 

K - I was wondering the same thing.. Maybe he found someone from Skaikru and killed them in order to get the radio? That wouldn't surprise me.

M - “No we're not,” Clarke replies with strength in her voice, “He didn’t kill Monty or Raven, he would have left their bodies. He took them somewhere." Bellamy tells her, “If you’re right, Octavia and the others are their too," both of them not yet willing to give up the fight. Clarke figures out that Emerson is holding them in the airlock he was once imprisoned in and grabs the radio. “Emerson. I know you're listening. We need to talk." “I don’t need to do anything. You should have killed me when you had the chance,” Emerson replies to her as he stands over everyone. Raven, Monty, Miller, Octavia, Jasper, Harper, and Bryan. All restrained in the airlock. 

"And now you're here to kill me is that it?” asks Clarke. “Something like that,” he tells her, which just backs up my thought that he’s not just here for Clarke, that he has a bigger plan. “Then let my friends go. Do that and you can have me,” Clarke doing exactly what I knew she would and Emerson too. Giving him the last thing he needs to complete his plan. “Brave Clarke. I’ll give you that. They’re lucky to have a friend like you,” we hear Emerson say through the radio as Bellamy, full of worry for her, softly calls Clarke’s name in a warning not to do this. Clarke reassures him, “I know what I’m doing,” but it doesn’t ease his uneasiness as he tries to hide the pain on his face. 

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M - Emerson orders Clarke, “Come to the airlock. No weapons. Right now." Clarke hands the radio back to Bellamy pretty much saying take it, I’m going. Bellamy knows this and in response asks her “What the hell are you doing?” “Saving them,” she says handing Bellamy the second A.I. “When it’s over take this to Luna. Raven will know what to do with it." Clarke is the Flamekeeper, she is the protector of the A.I, but she completely trusts him to protect it, to look after that last piece of Lexa she still has. 

Bellamy clearly doesn’t agree with this plan. “Promise me,” Clarke asks wholeheartedly. “No. You're out of your mind if you think I’m letting you do this alone,” he tells her, refusing to take the A.I. “Bellamy, this is my fault. I’m not letting anyone else die for my mistake, okay, so take it,” Clarke says desperately. Bellamy cuts her off, “You through,” he asks her, standing his ground, “I don’t know what happened between you and Emerson in Polis, but I do know that letting him kill you here, today, is a stupid plan." Clarke asks him, “You got a better one?”

“Distract him. I shoot him,” he says and walks off when Clarke nods in agreement, no words necessary between them. Clarke turns to watch him, gratitude and appreciation in her eyes, as Clarke sees he won’t ever give up on her or leave her, and is completely willing to risk himself. 

K - Clarke and her damn leadership qualities.. always ready to be completely selfless and sacrifice herself for the people she loves. I love this about Clarke, but I'm glad that Bellamy was there and was able to talk her out of her plan to get killed. She doesn't deserve what Emerson wants. I know she's trying to own up to her mistakes, but this isn't the way to deal with everything that happened at Mount Weather.

M - Back at Polis, Ontari, alongside Murphy, is seeing to her people in the throne room. Murphy orders the next person to stand forward, their face covered by a hood. Ontari asks the person what do they want and they reply with, “Only to give you what you need," and immediately Murphy recognizes the voice as Jaha removes the hood covering his face, “Hello John. You’ve done well for yourself I see." “Who is this?” Ontari asks. Jaha tells her, “Your Flamekeeper and I are old friends." “Friends…” Murphy says, barely able to say it, “I don’t know what you’re doing here Jaha, but if I was you I’d leave while I still can." 

Jaha turns to Ontari and tells her, “You don’t have to be a false commander,” and she quickly orders everyone out of the room, looking like she’s ready to murder someone. Murphy questions Jaha, “How do you know that?" “You told me,” Jaha says. “He’s lying. Obviously you should kill him right now for insulting you,” Murphy trying desperately to end this. “Thus as you told me you would be unable to perform the Ascension ritual, even if you had the flame,” Jaha continues. When suddenly Emori enters the room. I’m sorry but… I knew it! Who didn’t see that coming!

K - Noooo!! Emori! How could you take the chip!?

M - “It was you… You took the chip,” says a shocked and hurt Murphy. “This is the girl from the market, you acted as if you didn’t know her,” states Ontari. “I’m his lover,” chimes in Emori as things continue to spiral and get out of control. “Ontari listen to me, you can’t trust these people,” Murphy tries to warn her. “It seems the only person I can’t trust is you,” Ontari roars as she pulls out her sword and aims it at Murphy. “I told you what would happen if you betrayed me,” she howls at him. Jaha chimes in with, “You kill him. I won’t help you." At least Jaha is willing to slightly help Murphy after throwing him under the bus and into that position, but it’s most likely for his own gain. 

K - Isn't it always?

M - “Why?” Ontari demands. “He’s a fraud. But he does have knowledge that could be useful to all of us. Trust me," there’s a tense stand-off before Ontari sheaths her sword, and orders her guards to arrest Murphy. They drag him away as he tries to tell her, “Nothing this man says is the truth," screaming, “You cant believe anything,” as he’s taken from the room. Jaha soon begins his speech trying to sell his mission. “You’re ruling without the wisdom of the Commanders' spirit. Your people will soon figure that out. I can offer you something even more powerful than the Flame. A true legacy of Becca prom Heda. All power. All wisdom. All contained in one simple key. All you have to do is swallow it,” as he hands her a chip and she’s left with a choice to make. We all know Ontari will take the chip. She will do anything for power there’s no doubting that. 

K - Can Jaha go away already? And now.. Murphy is a prisoner again. And where is Roan, did he not think to look for Clarke at Arkadia?!

M - At Arkadia, Clarke and Bellamy arrive at the airlock, Bellamy hidden out of sight. Clarke steps into view, her hands up in surrender, “I held up my part of the deal, your turn. Let my friends go." But Emerson is not so easily fooled, “Tell Bellamy to show himself first." Clarke tries to play it off, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” but before she can finish Emerson hits Octavia, and Bellamy immediately shows himself. Emerson puts a knife to Octavia's throat, ordering Bellamy to throw away his gun and to enter the airlock. Clarke begs Emerson, “Please, you wanted me. I’ll get inside once you let them go." I can't believe they still can't see what he truly wants, if he just wanted Clarke he would have killed her a long time ago, not waited and planned, and taken her friends.

Emerson cuts Octavia and Bellamy instantly submits, asking him to stop hurting her. Clarke tells him not to do it, the same way he feared for her when she decided to sacrifice herself. Bellamy throws down his gun and with one last look towards Clarke, enters the airlock, and is restrained along with the others.

K - Oh man, what an intense scene for me. If it was up to Bellamy I know he would do anything to save both Clarke and Octavia, but in the end he will always choose Octavia's well-being over anyone else. Still it hurt to see Clarke all by herself, all her loneliness, especially after Lexa's death, showing in this single moment.

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M - Emerson pulls a gun, aiming it at Clarke, and commands her to get on her knees and put her hands behind her head. She obliges. Then Emerson exits the airlock and seals the others inside. Realization finally hitting Clarke as she tries to beg for their lives in exchange for hers, “You can do anything you want with me, just let them go." Emerson pins Clarke to the doors of the airlock, gun pointed at her head, “You murdered 381 people. You took away my children. My brother. My friends. Did you really think that I would be happy with just one life in return," and then he pushes a button, which begins venting the oxygen from the airlock, forcing Clarke to watch as her friends start to run out of air.

K - The faces on everyone as Clarke gets on her knees.. All of them believing that was the last time they were going to see her.. Heartbreaking.

M - “Beg me to stop it,” he tells her. “I’m begging you. PLEASE!” Clarke pleads. Inside the airlock time is running out, death is upon them as the others look towards each other for comfort. Jasper and Monty look to each other, best friends no matter what they’ve been through. Bryan looks towards the man he loves, Miller trying harder to escape his restraints, looking at Bryan only making him want to fight even more, not wanting him to die. And Octavia looks to her brother as she calls out for him.
“Aaron wouldn’t want you to do this,” Clarke chokes out, realizing the music box belonged to his son. “You don’t say his name,” Emerson screams. I don’t know if Clarke was trying to reach him or catch him off guard by going for his weak spot. Either way it works as she gets a chance and fights back, but it’s not long before he overpowers her again, he chokes her but stops short wanting her alive to watch her friends die, the others having now lost all consciousness. For a moment panic shoots through you.. How is Clarke going to get out of this? Can she? There’s no one else to save them.

“First you’ll watch them die. Do you have any last words for your friends,” he asks her. “Yes. Ascende superius," Clarke says before placing the second A.I on his neck. I never would of thought of that nor did I see it coming. We watch as the device destroys Emerson from the inside as Clarke runs for the button and opens the airlock doors allowing air back in. There’s a brief moment when Clarke and everyone along with her is holding their breaths, waiting, waiting for any sign of life. . . and breathing again when all of their chests begin to move as the air fiils their lungs, as Clarke looks over at them one at a time to make sure everyone’s here and everyone’s okay.

K - That scene, guys. Talk about intense. Also, now we have seen how exactly the second A.I kills anyone who isn't a Nightblood.

M - Outside the gates of Arkadia the others wait as Bellamy walks out carrying a wrapped up body. At first I thought it was Sinclair and then it hit me, it’s Lincoln. Bellamy places him on the ground as Octavia kneels over him. She reaches for the cloth covering him. She hesitates and then removes the cloth to see his face, and for the first time she allows herself to really grieve and mourn, to fall apart in front of the others, before kissing him a final good-bye.

K - In all honesty a part of me is still in denial over Lincoln's death. . . It's hard to believe that this is it. It's time for us to say good-bye to him as Octavia does, and it breaks my heart all over again.

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M - They lay the body of Lincoln and Sinclair together upon a wood stack. Raven says to Sinclair, “May we meet again,” and as Octavia lights the flame under it she says to Lincoln, “Yu gonplei ste odon,” (Your fight is over). All the others surrounded around the fire also say goodbye, “Yu gonplei ste odon." But it’s what happens a moment later that is one of the most important moments and scenes this season. Bellamy whispers, “Yu gonplei ste odon.” He spoke it for Lincoln. No words can describe or explain how important this was but anyone who watches this show understands why it is. Octavia not being able to bear any more says, “It’s time to go. I’ll get the map,” and walks off as the others stare into the burning blaze.

K - I completely agree that Bellamy speaking Grounder for Lincoln is a huge deal. For me, it truly represented who Lincoln was to the show. He has always represented hope. Bellamy saying those last words to him shows this.

M - Everyone’s packing up when Raven tells them her and Monty are not going with them. She’s still healing from her injures but Monty tells them, “She remembered that A.L.I.E downloaded herself into the Ark mainframe. If the code is still there, we might be able to find a back door." "I'm guessing once you connect A.L.I.E 2 to Luna, we'll need to access A.L.I.E 1 to take her down," Raven points out.

Bellamy calls to Miller who says, understanding, "We'll keep them safe,” implying him and Bryan, and Harper adds, "I'll keep them safe." Everyone says their quick good-byes before they leave.

M - At Polis, in the throne room Emori enters and kneels before the throne. On either side stands Jaha and Ontari. And sitting on the throne is A.L.I.E. “The gates to Polis are open.” I loved the symbolism in that scene. A.L.I.E now rules over all of them. She sits on the throne!

K - Well, I guess this is what the next phase is in A.L.I.E's plan. . . "It's time to fill the City of Light."

M - Another powerful episode of The 100! Next week we will be seeing flashbacks to the Ark, before the 100 was sent to the ground when everyone was young, pain free, and happy. Just from the promo we can already see how much they’ve changed and grown since then. I can’t wait to see more of the story.

K - I'm so excited for the next episode! I don't know what this show is trying to do to me though because my heart can't stop from breaking episode after episode. . .

Join or Die Promo:

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You can watch season 1 and 2 of The 100 on Netflix now! Remember to tune in every Thursday at 9/8c to watch The 100 live on The CW.
Join us that weekend as we recap episode thirteen. We can't wait to discuss all things The 100 with you!



This Moment is a weekly ritual of a single photo - no words - capturing a special moment from the week. These photos represent a moment that is dear to my heart, whether it be of someone or something I love.



Simply Nicollette's review for The Winner's Trilogy will contain spoilers.

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this book.. like a lot.

"I spent ten years as a slave. I couldn't be one anymore. What did you imagine, tonight, in the carriage? That it would be fine for me to always be afraid to touch you?"

For the most part this book was pretty slow-paced, but I didn't mind this at all. It only made me fall more in love with this world and the characters within. I loved Kestrel and Arin, our main characters, because they were both so different but so much alike at the same time. They love their people, they're both brave in their own right, and they fight for the things they love - all things I truly admired.

Their romance played a huge role in this book and I LOVED it.

"He had threaded desire into the braids, had wanted her to sense it even as he dreaded that she would. He had met her eyes in the mirror and didn't know, couldn't tell, her feelings. He only knew the fire of his own."

It was such a slow-burn romance between these two.. To say they have a complicated relationship would be an understatement. They hated each other, resented each other, liked each other, loved, betrayed each other. . . Honestly the list could go on forever. I think that is why I fell so in love with their relationship because even though it was obvious that these two characters were bound to fall in love, I still couldn't predict some of the things that happened between them. It felt incredibly real, give their circumstances. I don't know guys.. I'm just really invested in this couple, and I'm positive my own boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for it but I have no regrets!

"Kestrel had bought a life, and loved it, and sold it."

There is so much more to this story than just the romance between Kestrel and Arin. This world is interesting, all of the characters bring something special to the story, and the politics are so intriguing! This is my first book I've read by Marie Rutkoski and I found her writing to be great! There was a lot of detail and the dialogue flowed nicely.. Like I said, it was a slow-paced book but the action/twists were all well placed to keep it interesting.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I've heard nothing but great things about this series so I can't wait to read the rest of it! If you're a fan of dystopian stories then I definitely recommend this book to you - it has everything you could possibly love!

"You don't, Kestrel, even though the god of lies loves you."


- - -

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This review will contain slight spoilers. If I can even call it a review since I'm just going to try to work through all of my feelings while writing this. . .

This is how I feel right now:

"Isn't this the one about the boy who becomes a man and saves his people? I like that story."

The Winner's Curse was more of a romance than anything else, but in The Winner's Crime the story becomes more serious about the true world these characters live in. It's brutally honest. I'm not going to lie, there are some books where politics are extremely heavy throughout the story, and therefore become boring for me.. but that was not the case with this story. It was all about the politics in this book, and yet it was so intriguing. I hated the empire and I hurt for the Herrani.

There was no doubt that Kestrel and Arin represented hope for this world in every way.

"It seemed to Kestrel that her life had taken the shape of a folded knife, her heart a blade inside a body of wood."

I have never felt so lonely while reading a book.. and Kestrel is beyond lonely in the capitol. It broke my heart seeing her friendship with Jess dwindle. Then when she finally sees Ronan again and where it led him. I felt so much pain for Kestrel in this book. She's a warrior though, that's for sure, because if I was her I would have broken down a long time ago, but she found a way to become even braver and more intelligent.

Her and Arin have truly grown up. They aren't those blushing teenagers who we knew in the last book. They become so much more.

"Everything Arin had done, from the Firstwinter Rebellion to his last stand against the Valorian general, had changed nothing. His people still belonged to the empire."

Which brings me to our poor, poor Arin. . . Who is still perfect in every way. He's just as lonely as Kestrel, but maybe not as much, because his grief overpowered every other emotion of his. His grief over losing something he loves and over feeling so helpless when it comes to Herran.

We get to know Kestrel and Arin on a deeper level. We even get to revisit some of their thoughts from the first book, which I enjoyed. They carry a lot of weight on their shoulders throughout this story and to be honest, even after finishing the book, I still feel some of that weight.

"Kestrel, when did I do it? I keep asking myself when I did the thing that was beyond your understanding. Was there one thing that made too many for you to forgive me?"

The romance was subtle. I'm still very much invested in Kestrel and Arin's relationship though, and they continued to break my heart. Their relationship becomes more complicated. If they were able to trust one another then a lot of their problems would be solved, but of course they have a long way to go before that happens.

I was happy that we didn't get a love triangle with the new guy in Kestrel's life, Prince Verex, who I actually really liked. He was honestly Kestrel's only friend. I wish we saw more of him and got to know more about him because he was so interesting. I just wanted to thank him for being Kestrel's friend. . .

"How like Verex. How like her friend.
It gave her courage."

There were a lot of new characters that I enjoyed getting to know. The most intriguing had to be Roshar though and I have no doubt that he'll play a bigger role in the next book. He seemed to bring something out of Arin that no one else has.. Plus, he was just really sarcastic and funny in his own way!

"If you must know, I'm going to hunt a nice poisonous snake and make you eat it. You do like to ruin a surprise."

There is a lot that I could talk about - everything was so good! Such as the world building, which expanded and we saw more than just Herran. I think Marie Rutkoski's writing only improved because it was brilliant. If I could write a whole review with quotes then I would with this book. She found the perfect way to capture the emotions of each character and make you feel for them.

Which every relationship grows in this story - even the broken ones. Now let's talk about the last thing on my mind.. Kestrel and her father. My heart hurts. IT HURTS. We saw a little bit of how fragile their relationship is in The Winner's Curse, but we saw more of their past and love for one another in this book. That ending GUTTED me. I'm not afraid to admit that I cried. Legit tears.

"Kestrel," he said, "you have broken my heart."

Overall, I loved this book. Everything about it. I could talk more about how angry the emperor makes me or how sad I am over Chapter 43.. but I will spare you from all of my feelings. If you haven't picked up this series then I highly recommend doing so!

"I'm going to miss you when I wake up, she'd told him as she'd dreamed on the palace lawn.
Don't wake up."

What is going to happen next? WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ARIN THE TRUTH ALREADY? Will Kestrel forget everything thanks to her circumstances? Will I cry happy tears or sad ones? I need all the luck as I finish reading this series. . .

- - -

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Once I fall in love with the characters in a series then that's it.. I will always end up enjoying the books they are in. So, it shouldn't come as a surprise that I loved The Winner's Kiss because I truly love Kestrel and Arin - who both share a special place in my heart now.

I loved the conclusion of their story in this book. Could it have been better? Sure. Could we have gotten less politics and more of something else? Sure. Despite a few tiny flaws, did it still manage to be fantastic? YES.

I tried to write a spoiler-free review, but I just couldn't.. I will tell you that if you're a fan of this series then I think you will be happy with this book, and if you haven't even read this series then what are you waiting for? So, last warning - this review will contain spoilers.

"It was the horror of someone who'd been dealt a winning hand, had bet her life on the game, and then proceeded (deliberately?) to lose."

The Winner's Kiss picks up right where we left off in The Winner's Crime. Kestrel is on her way to the work camp and Arin is back in Herran. It was tough reading about Kestrel at the work camp, she begins her journey there tough as ever, but then slowly begins to lose herself in this life she's being forced to live now. It was heartbreaking to see how lonely she became, how she felt like no one loved her anymore, and how she blamed herself for becoming The Moth in the first place.

While Kestrel is at the work camp, Arin is preparing to fight the war against the Valorian empire. Arin ends up FINALLY learning the truth about Kestrel, thanks to the messenger Kestrel saw at the end of The Winner's Crime. I am SO HAPPY that it was not dragged out because I don't think I could have taken any more of the pain that I felt from Arin not knowing ANYTHING.. He deserved to know. He should've known a book ago. . .

In ordinary Arin fashion - he goes to rescue Kestrel from the work camp, and that's when my heart broke all over again, as we learn that Kestrel has lost almost all of her memories while being a prisoner there.

"Who are you, that you get to know so much about me that even I don't know?"

It was hard for me to connect with Kestrel at the beginning of this book. It was hard for Kestrel to connect with herself though. She's a different person in this book, and yet she still is so much like the girl we know and love. She's still brave, strong, and intelligent. She's more ruthless and powerful now though. She's not just the intelligent, strategist, general's daughter who likes to play piano. She becomes more of her own person - out of the shadows of the court and her father. I loved her even more for it.

It was nice to see her reunite with Sarsine, which I really enjoyed how their relationship developed in this book. I always liked Sarsine and I'm glad we got to know more about her through this one. Then, Kestrel meets Roshar and I could not help but love their relationship.

"You underestimate my charm. Granted, she once pulled that dagger on me, but we've put that behind us. She likes me. I am very likable."

I liked Roshar in The Winner's Crime because he brought something out of Arin that no one else did.. Well, in The Winner's Kiss I fell even more in love with this guy. He was the light of this book in many situations. He tends to hide his emotions through humor and that was something about him that I truly understood. We get to know a little more about him, and he becomes incredibly loyal to both Arin and Kestrel, despite how his relationship with the both of them began. Roshar was the voice of reason for them, and they needed that throughout this book.

"A bloodbath," Roshar said. "We retreated. They seized the beach. I blame you."
Kestrel sucked in a furious breath.
"He doesn't mean that," Arin muttered.

As the story continues, we not only see Kestrel getting to know herself all over again and get to know our lovable characters more, we see more of the behind-the-scenes strategy that goes on during a war. Politics still play a major role throughout the book, and I still found it interesting. There were a few times, in the middle of the book, where it was slow but for the most part it was still intriguing. I liked seeing these characters face problems and find a way to solve them.

Which brings me to our beloved Arin. Who is struggling with leading his people, keeping the east happy in their alliance, dealing with his own demons, and still blaming himself for all of Kestrel's actions.

"Arin, why are you so transparent? Whenever you worry, you start fixing things. Draining nasty gunk from a hoof is the least of it. I don't know what's worse, watching you do that or knowing how hard it will always be for you to keep yourself to yourself."

I'm going to be honest.. Arin scared me just a little bit in this book. He's talking to the god of death throughout this story, and I honestly wasn't sure if it was really his god speaking to him or something he made up to help him deal with his guilt? I enjoyed seeing how ruthless both him and Kestrel became though because I think they needed to in order to make a better life for themselves. Arin kills, and a part of him enjoys it. He thinks death is all that lives inside of him and at times it's a bit too much to take from reading in his POV. All of his self-pity about everything that Kestrel is going through and all he can't do for his people. . .

Besides the political side of the story, we see more of the relationships develop throughout the story. Yes, we see the amazing friendship between Roshar and Arin - which I loved. We see Kestrel and Roshar.. And then we see more of the complicated relationship that is Kestrel and Arin.

"I think of you, all that you lost, who you were, what you were forced to be, and might have been, and I - I have become this, this person, unable to -" She shut her mouth.
"Kestrel," he said softly, "I love this person."

These two have the most complicated relationship I have yet to read.. Seriously. They sure have grown up though. They have stopped betraying each other. They have stopped trying to hide their feelings for one another (well.. sort of). They have stopped LYING to each other. This world has matured them and I feel like it finally showed in their relationship. Of course they still make mistakes, but don't we all? I love their love, and I enjoyed seeing them fall back in love with each other because they were their true selves in this book.

The ending was beyond fantastic. I'm still overwhelmed with emotions from Marie Rutkoski's brilliant writing. This book is such a piece of art, from the beginning to the ending. By far one of my favorite series, and I'm sad that it's over.

Everything was wrapped up nicely. I would've liked to see Kestrel and Jess have some closure, but I think if it was added it would've been rushed and misplaced so I understand why she's only mentioned at the end..

We did get to say goodbye to Verex, who actually plays a part in the story towards the end, and I was so happy that he did not end up being someone who betrayed Kestrel! I was a little worried.. but I'm happy to report that he's still as great as he was in The Winner's Crime. I also liked getting to know Risha more. It's a shame we didn't get more of those two.

"Then be happy."
"I will," he said, "if you will."
- Thank you Marie for giving me this kind of true love without making a love triangle out of it!

Now, the last relationship that I would like to talk about because it's the one that continues to break my heart.. Over and over again. Kestrel and her father. Whew. What an ending with these two, even the scene where Arin almost killed him, which I'm happy he didn't.. It was just emotional seeing how fragile their relationship was. I have so many emotions!! It's hard for me to talk about it because every emotion Kestrel felt about her father I felt along with her, and I guess that's why it means so much to me.

"This is what happens when you destroy the thing most precious to you."

Those last chapters gutted me. Everyone got what they deserved, yes even the emperor. My review has gotten ridiculously long.. I'll end with how much I really loved this series, and the conclusion in this book. I recommend this book to everyone! I'll miss these characters. . .

She sat at the piano, touching the keys.
He smiled. "Play."

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Simply Nicollette's recap posts for The 100 will contain spoilers.

This is the show I signed up to watch, am I right?
What an outstanding performance from everyone involved in this episode! Maddi and I are excited to be sharing our thoughts about each episode throughout this entire season with you. You can read our recap of "Fallen" here.
Now - let's talk about this episode!

Nevermore Synopsis:

"Alie forces Raven's dark side to come out, and Jasper's anger continues to grow. Meanwhile, Octavia wrestles with her place in the world, and Monty is forced to make a split second decision."

Maddi - A powerful episode of The 100, where everyone is forced to confront their pasts and the demons that hide among them.

M - The 100 begins with Jasper and Clarke in the rover, still driving, after their escape from Arkadia, from their home and people. There's an unspoken tension lingering in the air between the two. Jasper clearly struggling as he warily watches her. Clarke breaks the silence and begs Jasper to talk to her, to say something. He cuts her off saying, "I saved your life. That's more than you deserve," as the hurtful shot aimed for her hits her with full force.

Since Clarke has been gone, I forgot that what happened to Maya falls on her shoulders. I forgot what it has done to their relationship but now they are together again, and Clarke has to deal with what she did and the effects it's had on others. Jasper has to go through it again also, being reminded of it from Clarke's presence.

Clarke questions why would her mother allow them to shoot at her, her own daughter, completely puzzled and shocked, when she knows her mother would do anything to protect her. Jasper chimes in with "I can see the appeal," another hurtful blow at Clarke. This disturbs Clarke as she looks towards him with torment in her eyes, now that she finally sees just how much this has taken it's toll on Jasper, and just how deep his pain and sorrow runs.

Kristy - I don't think Clarke was expecting Jasper to be so broken from everything that happened at Mount Weather. I'm sure she was expecting him to be mad at her, but Jasper is more than just mad, he's suffering and more than hurt by her actions.

M - Clarke being there becomes too much for Jasper to handle, so he snaps telling her to stop talking and to look for the cave, as they search for safety and their friends.

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M - In the cave, the others are wondering about what's happened, not understanding, but knowing it has something to do with the chips as they wait for Jasper to arrive. As Octavia listens in, she gets up to leave, but Bellamy tries to tell her she just can't leave, that from what Jasper has said Arkadia is no longer safe. Not believing, Octavia says what Jasper said is insane. She says Pike's gone and that she can handle herself, no longer seeing a reason to stay now that she's achieved her vendetta, and there's no one to stay there for. She says that the Grounders burn the dead, obviously implying she wants to go back for Lincoln, to give him the burial of his people and the one that he deserves.

Bellamy says, "I know that, but then what? Where are you going to go?" Octavia firing back with, "You don't get to ask me that!" With pain and desperation in his voice he asks, "What more do I have to do to prove I am on your side?" She looks him in the eye and says, "Bring Lincoln back." Yeah then Bellamy can redeem himself.. In other words he never can, in her eyes. And simply from the look on Bellamy's face you can see he understands and knows that she will forever hold this against him, that his sister and their relationship is gone, and they may never repair the damage, that there may be no hope left.

Octavia walks away but turns around one last time to say, "Turning Pike in does not make you one of the good guys Bellamy. You did that to save me. Not because you thought what Pike was doing to the Grounders was wrong." Bellamy, "The Grounders were starving us out!" Octavia, "Because you massacred an army that was sent to protect us." Bellamy, "That army could have attacked us at any time and you know it." Octavia, "But they didn't attack, you did that. You were hurting and you lashed out, because that's what you do. There are consequences Bell, people get hurt, people die. Your people. Monroe's dead. Lincoln is dead." Octavia then falls silent and leaves them, maybe once and for all.

You can see and understand both sides of their statements and it's easy to see how everyone is split between choices, and how they both argue a point that they're trying to do what they think is best.. But you can't blame Bellamy for their deaths, he didn't pull the trigger, and he even tried to save Lincoln and do what he could for Monroe. Maybe his decisions may have helped lead them onto that path, but everyone's own decisions decided which direction they took down that path. Lincoln sacrificed himself and Pike killed him. Monroe chose to go with Bellamy and the Grounders' poisonous gas killed her. Not Bellamy. He did what he could to protect them. Deep down that's all he's been trying to do.

K - I completely agree that Bellamy is not the only person to blame for everything that has happened. Bellamy didn't make Monroe chose to be loyal to Pike, if he made everyone choose that then Jasper, Miller, and Harper would've been right next to her. He didn't tell Lincoln to sacrifice himself, he chose to do that on his own. Yes, some of his actions led to their deaths but all the blame can't be put on him. I think that it's hard for Octavia to see this right now though because she's so angry and grieving over Lincoln's death, and unfortunately Bellamy is the easiest target at the moment.

M - Here's a random thought, what happens to those who are still in Arkadia and who haven't taken the chip? e.g. Hannah and the others.. are they forced to take it? Persuaded?

I still can't believe that Octavia said "you were hurting and you lashed out, because that's what you do" .. Umm did you forget you beat up your brother when all he did was try to help? That you took your pain and grief out on him and he let you, because he thought he deserved it.. Did she even hear what she was saying or does it only apply to Bellamy..

M - Octavia walks out of the cave and her brother follows her, still not giving up on his little sister. As they go, the rover arrives and everyone stops in their places. A part of me likes to think it was because they knew that Clarke was in that rover, that their friend was finally home, despite any bad feelings they may still hold towards her, and that another friend needed them, needed their help.

Clarke walks ahead and stops when she sees Bellamy, and they share one of their classic powerful gazes. They're staring at each other as if they can only see one another as if it's only them, countless emotions and feelings crossing their eyes and flickering on their faces, as if a story is being told.

K - Oh my Bellarke heart soars!

M - Jasper interrupts their moment and reunion when he yells for their help, telling them they must get Raven inside before she wakes up. Bellamy asks if they were followed. Jasper frantically says he doesn't know as Bellamy takes Raven from him. Miller tells Bryan to go up to the ridge and radio if anyone is following, as Harper watches the entrance to the cave. Bellamy, Jasper, and Clarke head inside, but Octavia's still standing in her place, struggling to decide what she should do next, now that she must make her final choice.

It's not until Clarke tells her to join them saying, "We need you," does she decide to join them, to stay with them. She stayed because Clarke told her they needed her and even though they don't have the best relationship, she stayed because they're her friends. The friends she survived with, her family, and one of them needs her.

K - I've loved every moment shared between Octavia and Clarke this season. I think it has shown how deep their love and respect runs for one another. Their relationship has been fragile this whole season, and they've lost a lot of trust between one another, but they both still choose doing what's best for their people over any hurt feelings. Now if they could completely make up.. that would be great.

M - In the cave they place Raven down as Jasper tries to explain that Raven isn't Raven anymore, none of them are, anyone who has taken the chip is no longer themselves. Clarke reassures what he's saying, saying she saw it with her own eyes, causing Jasper to fire back that he doesn't need her help as Bellamy tries to calm him down and get him to explain.

K - Did anyone else notice the small moment Octavia and Bellamy shared? He understood her choosing to stay to help their friends, and she let him understand her in that way.

M - Jasper tells them Jaha is using the chips to control everyone. That you take it and forget who you are and see this thing, A.L.I.E, but she's not really there. He tells them what A.L.I.E did, making Raven hurt herself when she tried to get her out of her head as Jasper becomes more distraught and saying in barely a whisper, "I tried to help her," as if he believes he failed and now blames himself for Raven getting hurt.

Sinclair tries to comfort Jasper by saying, "Let's help her now," and asks him if Raven said how they could remove A.L.I.E from her. Jasper tells them she was working on something, that they need one of their old wristbands that they came to the ground with, but Jaha destroyed the last of them. Clarke finally putting the rest of the puzzle pieces together pulls out the second A.I she carries, and shows it to them asking if they look like this.. And of course at this exact moment Raven wakes up and sees her holding it. Therefore A.L.I.E sees it and now she knows what form it's in, where, and who has it. That's what we didn't want.

As Jasper responds with not exactly, regarding Clarke's chip and the resemblance of the ones they've seen. A.L.I.E says, "There it is, version two of my code," and orders Raven to find out where she is. Of course the others have no idea she's there, in a way, and cannot see or hear her. Raven jumps up and smashes through Octavia and runs out of the cave as everyone else gives chase. As Raven runs, A.L.I.E keeps telling her she must know where she is and to find a landmark, as the others grab hold of Raven and struggle to contain her, as she continues to fight them. Lucky enough it's too dark for her to see anything and her vision goes completely dark as Jasper yet again drugs her and puts Raven to sleep, to stop A.L.I.E from finding them.

K - Jasper used the last reaper stick.. The last time they had to use one of those feels like forever ago, doesn't it?

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M - Clarke says they have to go and Bellamy asks why, A.L.I.E doesn't know where they are. Clarke tells them it's because she knows where they can get a wristband.

My first thought flashbacks to season one when Bellamy and everyone else were destroying their wristbands and Clarke refused to. In the end she did remove hers, but I don't recall it being destroyed. Now the remaining question is where is it, where is their only hope?

In the distance we see the rover as it pulls up, coming to a stop, before a building and in front of it is Niylah. At first I didn't recognize her or where they were in the dark of the night. Then it hits me, it's Niylah the woman who helped Clarke when she was on the run and being hunted. That's when I remembered when we first met her she was wearing one of their wristbands. I noticed that she wore it and I wondered why, and now it makes sense. Though we still don't know where it came from and I think there's more to that. Remember in 'Wanheda: Part 1', Clarke asks Niylah about how she got the wristband, but before she could respond they are interrupted by Roan who was searching for Clarke..

Niylah pulls her weapon as Clarke tells the others she'll talk to her and Bellamy joins her. They approach her and she says Skaikru is not welcome here. Clarke asks her what's wrong, knowing that this is out of character, as the others realize Raven is beginning to wake up. Clarke asks if her father is here, the one Niylah made sure didn't know or see Clarke. Niylah tells them he's dead, that he died in the Skaikru massacre when he was sent to help them, as Bellamy tries to hide the shame that crosses his face. Clarke pleads with her but she won't change her decision to help them.

M - Bellamy realizing that they don't have much time has no other option, but to pull his gun on her, and orders her to move. Knowing they're clearly desperate and that she's no match against their guns, she submits, as they force their way inside.

Monty smartly comes to the conclusion that if his mum has been chipped, she's been here before, which means A.L.I.E may know. Clarke also knows this and tells them to take Raven into the back. They hurry as Raven begins to stir, having no choice but to tie her up to a bed, after her last attempt at escaping. She struggles, managing to get her blindfold off but you can see from her expression that she has no idea where she is.

Immediately, A.L.I.E tells her they need to know where she is.. And as if on cue Raven begins screaming where, wanting to know where she is and for them to let her go. It takes almost all of them to keep a hold of her and to secure her as Octavia tells her desperately to stop fighting. After punching Jasper, they finally get her tied up. After a major effort, they stand by watching as Raven continues to scream, for the first time the others finally see what she has become with looks of horror among their faces.

K - Talk about intense! I think it was this moment that showed how loyal each of them are to one another. The way they worked together and moved together to tie up Raven, showed they are in this together.. and even though it was an intense, heartbreaking scene I couldn't help but be proud of them for working together despite all the hard feelings hanging in the air.

M - Next door in the other room, Bellamy is still holding Niylah at gunpoint. Even they can hear Raven's screaming. Monty, Sinclair, and Clarke leave Raven's room, joining Bellamy. Clarke asks how are they going to get that thing out of her head as Monty reassures her, saying they're working on it. Clarke walks over to Bellamy with Niylah and tells him she's got this, as he promises that he's right here if she needs him. Clarke tells Niylah they didn't have a choice, that Raven can't see this room or her until she's better.

Niylah of course asks why this is. Clarke tells her it's hard to explain. How can she explain this to her, that something that isn't really there is taking control of people's minds, when her people believe the second A.I is a sacred and holy thing.

They don't understand that technology, and they will struggle to comprehend it, or to believe the possibility of it. Clarke understands this and when Niylah tells her to try to explain, Clarke just asks her to trust her, that what it is is important. Niylah asks how can she possibly trust her after what Skaikru did, the Grounders still struggling to understand and learn that it wasn't all of them, that not every Sky Person did what was done. You can't hold it against those who are innocent of the crime.

K - It's kind of ironic that the Grounders can't seem to see that not all Sky People are responsible for the massacre, just like the Sky People can't seem to see that not all Grounders are the same..

M - Clarke tries to tell her this saying that it wasn't them, that she's sorry about her father.. all of them are, as she turns to look towards Bellamy as if she understands what he feels and is offering, in a way, the same forgiveness he gave her after Mount Weather.

Niylah asks Clarke what she wants from her. Clarke mentions the last time she was here, she had one of their wristbands, and that they need it now to save their friend. Of course Niylah rejects this saying why should I help you, and Clarke tells her that she knows she won't let an innocent girl suffer. Niylah tells them to stay here and leaves the room. At first I thought they should be careful in trusting her and someone should have gone with her, but in a way it was showing the trust they are putting in her.

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M - While they wait for her, Clarke turns around and asks Bellamy, "You okay?" This, I think, being the first time anyone has ever asked him. There were many great moments and lines from the episode but this was by far one of the best and admittedly my favourite. Someone finally asked Bellamy if he was okay. He's always the one looking after everyone, caring for them, he's the one holding them together, and leading them. They rely on him and his strength that no one considers his feelings. No one thinks he needs to be asked because he's always the one asking.. But Clarke did!

She knows even though he doesn't show it that he's hurting and struggling, that he's always caring for others and not himself, and now he knows that she cares, that there's someone who cares, that there's someone there for him this time! Even if he wouldn't let her reach for him, his walls standing firmly as Clarke is pushed away when he just looks at her and nods, firmly saying, "Fine." When we can all see alongside Clarke that he's not okay, as Clarke struggles to see him like this, sorrow in her eyes.

K - Clarke definitely feels bad for him, and maybe a little guilty to see how her leaving has caused him to become who he now is. I think that's why she doesn't push him to say more, and just leaves it be.

M - Clarke places the wristband on a table telling the others that Niylah said they could work in here, obviously having returned with the wristband. Clarke asks Monty and Sinclair how do they do this. Sinclair says they think Raven wanted to use the wristband to generate an EMP. Bellamy asks "Meaning what?" Sinclair explains, "A targeted magnetic pulse could destroy the chip's circuitry," they could use the wristband to send one along Raven's own nervous system but first they must reverse the polarity, wire for external input, and attach a battery.. simple right? Clarke questions what that would do to Raven. Sinclair reassures her that EMPs don't affect their bodies but they obviously don't know what or how the chip integrates with her brain.

Bellamy points out, "This was Raven's plan, she wouldn't do it if it was going to destroy her brain." Octavia chiming in with "It depends on how bad she wanted it out." However the plan won't be of any use unless they have an electromagnet. Clarke asks where do they get one and of course the answer is the Ark, which is impossible.. But Monty adds that they can use the drop ship. That it has what they need.

Monty says he'll go in the rover, and Octavia joins him leaving Sinclair to get the device ready by the time they return. Immediately after Octavia volunteers, you can literally see Bellamy about to protest but she sees this too and simply says, "Don't," as Clarke begins to notice the conflict and torn relationship between the two.

K - All the tension between everyone is so much to handle during this episode!

M - In the other room, Jasper is keeping watch on Raven. Raven eerily eyeing him off, like an animal hunting it's prey. She eyes her restraints and begins to reach for them with her mouth, in an effort to chew through them. A.L.I.E tells her that with marginally more slack, she could reach the knots that are keeping her bound. Jasper watches as Raven struggles trying to reach the knots, telling her to stop as he walks closer questioning her about what she's doing. That's when Raven dislocates her own shoulder so she can reach the bounds as A.L.I.E inhumanely watches on.

At the same time Raven's old wounds reopen, blood pouring, as she creepily says "There is no pain in the City of Light." Did anyone else notice the music playing in the background? It sounded so similar to the theme from the classic shower scene from Pyscho.. At first I thought it was just me but replaying it, it's actually there only for a quick few seconds, but it definitely resembles that theme. I don't know if that was planned but it helped make the scene, and the horror and fear of the moment feel real, and I think that was the point, and I definitely felt it.

K - This part broke my heart because A.L.I.E is slowly killing Raven. She's using the fact that Raven can't feel any pain to her advantage and in the end it's only going to kill her.

M - Jasper instantly screams for the others, for help, frozen from shock and fear of not knowing what to do. They come running in and Clarke yells for them to stop her. If they don't stop the blood, she'll bleed to death. They try to hold Raven back but she won't stop fighting and Clarke is struggling to bandage her wounds.

That's when Jasper looks at Raven and calls to A.L.I.E. He asks her why she's doing this, to let Raven go. There's a pause before A.L.I.E replies through Raven saying, "I'll let her go when you give me what I want. The technology that Clarke carries, it belongs to me." Clarke down right refuses saying, "No way." We all know why.. Jasper tells her to give it to her, shouting her name when she doesn't. Clarke tells A.L.I.E that if she lets Raven die, she'll never get it.. And on command A.L.I.E tells Raven to let them help her and she slumps in obedience, becoming still, and her eyes empty like there is no soul behind them.

They immediately go to work to save Raven as Jasper's anger turns to hatred right before us, after seeing Clarke not willing to give something up to save Raven's life. I understand how Jasper sees this, and with his past and pain it's amplified.. But he has no idea what it is that Clarke has or what could happen if it fell into the wrong hands, and what will fall upon them if it does.

K - I understand where Jasper is coming from also. Now really isn't the time for Clarke to really explain it to him either, and she knows this because of how upset he got in the rover when she did try to explain things to him.

M - A.L.I.E and Raven continue to share their strange looks and you can see they're up to something. Bellamy tells Clarke she's never going to stop trying to get away. They can't let her hurt herself again, that someone has to stay with her. It was in this moment that I knew A.L.I.E was going to use everything against them. All of Raven's memories, their pasts, what they've done, what they've been through.. everything, and that surviving this won't be easy as Clarke offers to take the first watch.

Clarke says they'll take turns and Jasper snaps, yelling "You don't give the orders Clarke!" Jasper struggling to hold it together, and right on cue, just like I said, Raven hurtfully points out, "I guess he doesn't forgive you for murdering his girlfriend." Bellamy tells Jasper to take a break. As a wide-eyed Jasper leaves, Raven continues to eye them all off. Choosing her next victim. Getting ready to strike again as Clarke is left alone with Raven.

M - In the next room Bellamy comes to check on Jasper. He asks Bellamy if he's okay with Clarke coming back after all this time. Bellamy defends her saying that she's trying to save Raven. Jasper mumbles, "I guess she thinks Raven's worth saving, lucky for her." Does Jasper forget that the guy standing next to him was also a part of what happened to Maya? Why does he not blame Bellamy? He was as much a part of it as Clarke, but he has only anger for her? Why?

K - I've been wondering the same exact thing. I don't really understand why everyone just associates Clarke with everything that happened at Mount Weather. Bellamy pulled that lever with her. Monty helped them.. And yet Clarke is the only one people are angry at?

M - Bellamy tells Jasper to get himself together, that he can't let his anger get in the way of what they have to do. Jasper turns his anger and pain on Bellamy saying, "That's funny coming from you. When you're angry people die." Then pointing to Niylah, he says "Just ask that girl over there," before turning and walking away as Bellamy's left looking at Niylah, trying to bare the secret he hides.

That shocked me. At this rate this is going to tear them all apart, especially Bellamy who's already on the edge, struggling, lost. I know Jasper's in pain and struggling, but if he doesn't stop doing this to them, to his friend, he will tear them apart, beyond repair. It will destroy each of them and there's no saying what A.L.I.E will do if she's not stopped or if she succeeds. Now's the time to join together, not fight each other, otherwise they will lose and there's no telling who will survive.

K - I completely agree. I also think that is why she chooses to let Raven attack each of them. She wants them to turn against each other because she knows how strong they are together, and she needs them to be weak if she's going to defeat them.

M - Jasper goes outside, to get out of that place, to escape. He breaks our hearts as he breaks down as we clearly see his vulnerability, and just how much he bears. Looking into his eyes, full of tears, all I could see was Maya. Knowing that that's whom his pain is for, that she would hate to see him suffering like this, as we hold onto hope that one day he may find peace.

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M - Back inside, Clarke is still tending to Raven. Raven breaks the silence by telling her "Thank you," and then she takes aim and fires directly at Clarke, asking if she ever sees the faces of all the people she's killed. Clarke tells A.L.I.E not to bother, that she won't get to her.. But Raven says it's not A.L.I.E it's Raven, knowing that what was coming next would hurt more if she thought it was from her friend.

Raven says she's not trying to get to her, just trying to tell her the truth because no one else will. Which was a nice try but we all know A.L.I.E is clearly doing something for her gain.

"Everywhere you go, death follows. You always want to save everyone. What you don't realize is, you're the one we need saving from. Wells is dead because you couldn't see Charlotte was a basket case. Finn is dead because you broke his heart then slid a knife into it," and then Raven goes in for the kill shot and hits her right in the heart, "I bet you got Lexa killed too."

K - That was such a low blow. You can see it written all over Clarke's face how raw her emotions are when it comes to Lexa's death.

M - Clarke tells her to shut up, but it's too late, she's reacted and A.L.I.E can see her weakness. Raven then tries to completely break her by mentioning her father, and how she tried to convince him not to go public about the Ark dying. Saying she should have tried harder, that his blood is on her hands too. Clarke continues to scream at her to shut up. "You can hide behind the selfless martyr act, but we all see you for what you really are Clarke.. Poison to anyone who gets close." Clarke tries to gag Raven to stop her. At the same time Raven takes a chunk out of her, biting her.

Clarke completely loses it, "You're done, A.L.I.E! You hear me? We're gonna fry you!" As the others come in, and it takes all of Bellamy's strength to get a screaming Clarke out of the room. As Jasper looks on horrified at Raven, the moment made worse by the blood dripping down her mouth.

K - That moment horrified me also.. We see just how Raven really is not Raven anymore.

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M - After everyone leaves, A.L.I.E tells Raven well done and references that Clarke chose to say the word fry. Fry as in to destroy circuitry with excessive current. Unconsciously revealing what they're doing and now they know that they're building the EMP. I knew it was only a matter of time.

A.L.I.E wants to break them all. It was a great physiological play. A.L.I.E may have logic and use their emotions and what they did against them, but she'll never understand what they had to do to survive, to live. She may hurt them and think she can break them but she'll never understand humanity and what it is to be human, and that was Becca's fatal error and will be A.L.I.E's downfall.

A.L.I.E and Raven realize the group would need an electromagnet to make the EMP and Raven knows exactly where they will go.

M - Monty and Octavia arrive at the drop ship in the rover. I can already tell something terrible has already been put in motion. They get out of the rover and Monty tells her he heard her telling Bellamy she was leaving, and asks if it's true, after everything they've been through. She admits it's true. "Octavia we're your people. We were sent down together. We survived together." "Lincoln was my people. I'm not Trikru. I'm not Skaikru. I'm nothing." That is when I notice Octavia's braids, once in her hair, are gone. Some would think what does that matter.. But it matters because it's a part of the Grounder culture, and that's when it hits me that she thinks without Lincoln she's not Trikru. That he was what made her Trikru. She thinks she doesn't deserve to wear those braids.. But she's wrong, she is Trikru and she is Skaikru, it's who she is inside, it's a part of her not who she was with, even though Lincoln was a big part of that. I hope one day she can remember that and can find her way home, as Monty reminds her, "You're one of the 100," and she gravely tells him, "Not anymore."

K - This moment broke my heart. Octavia has always been herself, and that has always been a mix of both Trikru and Skaikru, and just who she is on the inside.. and that is why I've always admired her. She was never afraid to be true to herself. Now, watching her grieve is hard because she has become lost and unsure of where she belongs in this world. She doesn't see her purpose anymore, and I hope she doesn't completely lose herself in the end.

M - Back at Niylah's, Bellamy helps Clarke to bandage her wound from Raven. "I let her get to me," she tells him, he merely replies with "You don't say." That made me smile. It felt like the good old Bellamy you know, and the old times when him and Clarke used to joke together. Normally Clarke's the one doing the bandaging, but for once she allowed someone to heal her, and she chose him. It was a bittersweet moment.

K - Of course I loved this moment, too! I miss this friendship. Bellamy and Clarke have always brought something special to the show, with their leadership and their friendship, and I miss it.. And I promise I'm not just saying that because I'm a Bellarke fan because I wasn't in the beginning, and I've always just loved their dynamic together.

M - Bellamy tells her to take a break, "I'll let her beat me up for awhile," and that right there, that sentence, is Bellamy Blake. The guy willing to take the pain for anyone and from anyone if it protects others, that's all he's ever done. A true leader, and a true protector. Bellamy leaves and Clarke is left feeling the pain from Raven's bite.

"The truth hurts, huh," Jasper tells her. Clarke walks over to him and says, "I'm sorry." Jasper lets out a faintly whispered, "What?" "I never wanted to hurt Maya. I never wanted any of this. I had to save our people." I loved this moment. The shock and pain Jasper shows when she apologizes, when she says this, was like he finally understood. Jasper finally has to face that Clarke had to do it. That it wasn't easy like he thinks it was for her, that she didn't just do it and walk away fine. He now sees she's been struggling with it this whole time. Jasper finally sees what he wasn't able to see before and a part of him now accepts that he couldn't save Maya.

"I was going to save everyone!"
"I wish you could have."

It's too much for Jasper, so he tells Clarke to "Shove your regret up your ass," and smashes his way through her, and she's left struggling to face that she's the cause of Jasper's pain.

K - I think Clarke and Jasper's confrontation was the one I was looking most forward to watching this episode. It kind of hurt me to think that Jasper truly believed that Clarke was that kind of person to murder innocent people, and actually be okay with it. He should've known that she wouldn't have killed all those people, including Maya, if she didn't have to. Their relationship is still fragile, but I hope this is the first step for them at making amends.

M - In the dark, Monty exists the drop ship, but stops when he can't find Octavia. Suddenly there's a rustle. The moment I heard that noise I knew someone was there, and I knew exactly who it was. I knew it was his mum because it's something that A.L.I.E would do. He lets down his guard for her and she can get close to him the easiest.

Monty searches the dark, calling for Octavia. There's another noise and he spins around, his flashlight landing on someone.. his mum. His mum comes out of the shadows and runs to him, hugging him, full of relief. She tells him she's pretty sure she lost them in the woods, and asks him if he saw anyone. This confuses and alerts Monty. He stares, as he's asking how she got away. She tells him she had to find him. Monty asks her how could she turn him in. Hannah tells Monty she would never do that which is A.L.I.E's mistake. The real Hannah wouldn't say that, she would try to explain that she did it for him, to save him, that she thought what she was doing was right. That betraying him was worth the risk if he got to live.

K - Again, we see how A.L.I.E doesn't understand humanity and what makes humans who they are..

M - Monty knows this so he asks her what his father, her husband's favourite colour was, and she can't answer so she tries to divert his questions. Monty says, "You don't remember that do you?" as he slowly backs away from his mother. A.L.I.E tells Hannah not to let him leave. That he needs to take the chip in order to lead them to Raven. So Hannah punches him and continues to attack him as Octavia comes running. Monty begs his mum to stop but she says she'll only stop if he takes the chip. "Never," is all Monty can reply.

K - What in the world was Octavia doing though?

M - Octavia pulls Hannah off Monty as he yells to her she's been chipped. Octavia pulls her sword and Monty screams, "DON'T!" Octavia and Hannah fight. Octavia is over-powered as Hannah tries to kill her. Hannah has Octavia's sword, trying to push it down to slice her throat. Octavia struggles to hold her off as Monty screams for his mum to stop. Monty pulls his gun, aiming it at her, and yells at her to stop. As Octavia's about to lose the battle against Hannah, Monty makes the decision, and pulls the trigger, shooting her. But Hannah doesn't fall, she doesn't weaken, she doesn't stop, and now the sword is almost touching Octavia's throat.

Monty having no choice, screaming in agony, he shoots her again, this time hitting her in the heart. Octavia yells for him as Monty watches his own mother die, by his own hand.

I was speechless, nothing really sunk in after that moment. It was horrible. Especially when you remember that they never got to say a proper goodbye. I was crushed because I didn't want Monty going through that, I didn't want him to suffer, and we don't know if he will survive this.. But there was nothing either of them could do. Though it did make me think how exactly did they know to send Hannah, how did they know who was going to the drop ship?

K - How did they know? I was a little upset and confused by all of this.. First off, Octavia is a bad ass warrior trained by Indra, how was Monty's mom stronger than her in this moment? Has Octavia's grief made her weak? I just find it hard to believe that she couldn't at least knock Monty's mom out, so they could find a way to help save her.. I just didn't want her to die, and I didn't want Monty to be the one to kill her. I was hurt and shocked, and I think A.L.I.E was a little shocked by Monty's actions also.. I don't think Monty will ever be the same.


M - Clarke checks in on Sinclair who continues to work on the wristband. Clarke tries to comfort him saying Raven will be alright. He tells her, "You don't know that." Sinclair admits Raven is all he has left as he struggles with doing what he has to do, with what if the thing he's making destroys her mind, as Sinclair questions how could he live with that. Clarke tries to comfort him saying Jasper said Raven was trying to disconnect herself from A.L.I.E. That it's not Raven anymore. He asks her if she's sure and Clarke admits she's not sure about anything, but it's their only choice.

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M - Monty and Octavia drive back to Niylah's in the rover. Monty says it wasn't really her. Trying hard to convince himself that it wasn't really his mother, that it was A.L.I.E. He says his mum was already gone as he tries to hold onto that, the only thing at the moment holding him together, stopping him from breaking.

Octavia tries to talk to him but he cuts her off, continuing to repeat that it wasn't her. Octavia then holds up a chip, eyeing it off. It must be the one Hannah had. I knew right then that someone will end up taking that chip.. and I think it will most likely be Monty or Bellamy. Though I think the arrows are pointing more towards Bellamy.

K - Oh, I see that happening now that you mention it! I think Jasper might be the one to take it.. He might get too fed up with everything that's happening?

M - A.L.I.E tells Raven they got the electromagnet and are on the way, that she must hurry. Raven goes on the attack again, this time at Jasper who is guarding her alongside Bellamy. "Look at your united front. Tell me, why do you give Bellamy a pass for murdering your girlfriend?" I admit I've always wondered about this too, but Jasper tells her not to talk about Maya, as Bellamy tells him he doesn't have to listen to this.

"Let's protect Jasper. He's so sensitive. Jasper's lost someone. Everyone cater to his feelings. We've all lost someone. You don't see us falling apart. You don't see us getting wasted.. being useless." Jasper tries to turn the tables on her, "No, you took a pill to take the pain away. You gave up your memories," but Raven is relentless.

"But then, why should we expect any more? You used to get high off people's medicine. Being a selfish loser was your only move. That's all we see when we look at you. A coward. A waste of breath. Why do you even bother living? You're weak. Pathetic. You can't save me. You can't even save yourself. You couldn't save, what's her name. . ."

Jasper jumps out of his seat, screaming "You know her name!" as Raven yet again gets to another one of them. I wished Jasper had not given in to her and given her what she wanted. Why listen to her, you had your argument. She calls you weak but she's the one who took a pill to take away her pain and her memories.. But it's not about getting back at her. It's about understanding that her words have no real power behind them. The words are not even spoken by Raven but an artificial intelligence that isn't real, that isn't living. The words are invalid.

Bellamy grabs Jasper and tells him to think, that it's not Raven talking, and he's giving her what she wants, and tells him to leave. As yet again Bellamy is willing to take whatever may be coming to protect the others, as all targets are now aimed on him.

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M - Once again Raven begins attacking. Bellamy's strong and silent persona coming in handy at this moment as he just sits there not answering, showing no care or emotion to what she's saying. This gets A.L.I.E's attention as she intently watches him.

K - This scene guys.. Although this is breaking my heart, I can't help but appreciate the way everything from their past, everything we know about these characters, all their problems are coming to the surface through A.L.I.E for them to finally deal with. Raven begins, "Just you and me, huh? Oh, c'mon Bellamy. We've had our fun together, haven't we? It's okay. We don't have to talk about it. There's really not much to talk about any way."

M - "I do have one question. Does it bother you that you don't get any credit for the genocide at Mount Weather? Clarke gets to be the Commander of Death, but you murdered all those people, too. Then again you didn't get any credit for the culling on the Ark, either. How many suffocated when you threw away my radio? At least Clarke was saving her own people. You were just saving your own ass. Of course that's nothing compared to killing your own mom. You just had to take little sister to her first dance. You might as well just shoved Aurora out of the airlock yourself. Do you think she'd be proud of you now for the kind of leader you've become, or would she see the truth like the rest of us do, that you're a follower? Clarke's been back one day and you're already taking orders. The good, little knight by his queen's side."

The more Raven says this, the more you can see it affect him, it slowly getting to him. He hides it well but even for Bellamy it becomes too much. A.L.I.E walks closer to him, with curious eyes, seeing his pain and something else in him. I didn't notice A.L.I.E's reaction until now, and I think we just found out the answer to who might take the chip. She can see he's already lost and broken. The others have pain and their own suffering but Bellamy's different, and A.L.I.E has noticed this.


M - Raven continues, bringing up Gina and him getting revenge, when he slaughtered the army. Of course Niylah overhears this and goes straight for him. Niylah enters the room and Bellamy knows what's coming, but he doesn't move, he doesn't defend himself, as once again he's hit and believes he deserves it. At the same time it being revealed exactly where they are, as A.L.I.E sends Raven help.

K - Wow, that scene was a killer! Lindsey Morgan (Raven) was just the best during this scene, being a whole new Raven that we've never seen before this episode.. It gave me goosebumps. Like I said, I love how everything from their past is coming up and they are having to deal with all of their demons, and I just appreciated that nothing these characters have done was swept under the rug.

I think my favorite confrontation Raven/A.L.I.E had was with Jasper. It hurts to see him suffering from PTSD and all of his pain, but maybe this will be a step to help him recover? To help him realize that all of them have lost someone, too.. That he's not alone even when he feels that way. Everyone has lost someone and it's about finding a way to deal with the pain in a positive way that will only help you survive in this world. . . I hope he sees all of this.

M - Bellamy marches outside angry, upset, hurt, and I think at himself more than anything. He punches a few things and Niylah asks if he feels better. He tells her all he wanted to do was protect his people, and she states by destroying hers? Bellamy chokes out an "I'm sorry," and she tells him people like him always are as Monty and Octavia arrive back.

M - Monty walks past them without saying a thing, and Bellamy asks Octavia "What happened?" As a grave look crosses her face as she now must tell them what happened.

Once everyone's inside, they gather around Raven as they finish putting the final pieces of the device together. A.L.I.E knows she won't be able to get there in time and that Raven knows too much so she makes her try to kill herself. They try to stop her, holding her down, as Clarke tells A.L.I.E to stop and she will give her the second A.I. That gives them a chance to get the device on Raven, but they only have one shot at it, afterwards the wristband will be destroyed. They activate it but nothing happens. The battery's not strong enough to power the device.

Monty realizes they can use the rover's, him and Bellamy run to get it, but something's watching them. It's a drone but Bellamy shoots it down. They run back inside and connect a battery and activate it, this time it works as Raven screams and A.L.I.E disappears. Raven collapses, still alive, but she's not waking up. Clarke tries to wake her up but she doesn't stir as everyone begins to fear the worst.


M - Jasper begins to freak out, thinking he's just lost another person. He grabs the second A.I. It was A.L.I.E who did that to Raven and he never wants her getting what she wanted, so he tries to destroy it. Clarke desperately tries to stop him. She screams for him to stop, that it's Lexa that a part of her is in it, that she saw them take it out of her, and at the same time revealing the way she felt for Lexa to everyone.

K - Clarke let a little bit of her walls fall down when mentioning Lexa's name.. But it seems like she's still not ready to deal with truly grieving over Lexa's death.

M - What Clarke says gives her an idea. The A.I's were made by the same person, they must work similarly, and she's seen one removed before. They turn Raven on her side and Clarke cuts an incision into the back of her neck, the same place we saw with Lexa.

K - So, this makes me wonder if Murphy did tell her everything he found out about Becca and the A.I? Remember we weren't sure. . . But she obviously knew that the A.I's were both made by Becca.

M - Nothing happens as Clarke says this has to work. There's silence as everyone waits and watches. Then suddenly something oozes out of the incision as they realize it's what's left of the chip, and Raven finally wakes up.

Jasper goes to Clarke and tells her he couldn't do what she did and gives her back the second A.I. As the realization hits Monty that there was hope, that his mother could have been saved. Jasper reaches out to Monty. The first time since what happened at Mount Weather, but he snaps as the only thing that was holding him together was believing that it was no longer his mum.

K - Again, my heart breaks for Monty.. It also hurts to see Monty and Jasper still at odds with one another. Is it fair for Monty to accept Jasper's comfort though, when Jasper did nothing but push Monty away from him when he tried to do the same? I want them to repair their relationship but I understand how Monty must feel right now.. And I think Jasper is the last person that can help him with dealing with his mom's death.

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M - A.L.I.E will be coming so they load up into the rover, getting ready to move out. Before leaving Clarke tells Niylah it's not safe here anymore and that she needs to run. Outside it's Clarke's turn to bandage Bellamy. She checks his injury and tells him he'll recover. Bellamy asks her will he.. "What do you do when you realize you might not be the good guy," and Clarke says to him "Maybe there are no good guys."

K - I can't take it with these two and their parallel thoughts! Remember when Clarke asked Abby the same question, and Abby's response was now Clarke's? It just shows how in sync these two are, and my Bellarke heart soars. Also, I think in this moment Clarke understood the weight Bellamy carries on his shoulders because she carries so much from everything that happened at Mount Weather, and she just understands how lost he is right now.. A part of her is just as lost.

M - Sinclair and Jasper help Raven into the rover. She apologizes for all the things she said and Jasper asks her for punching him in the face too, and she says "No, not for that." It's great to have Raven back! Clarke goes to Raven and asks her why A.L.I.E tried to kill her. Raven tells them it's because she knows why A.L.I.E wants the second A.I. Raven reveals it's the only thing that can stop her.. Who else let out a I knew it!

K - Yes!! Also, I'm really happy that they were able to save Raven and that she's back. I was honestly a little worried there for a minute. . .


M - Octavia speaks up with, "Then let's stop her. We survive together," as she finally realizes that the 100 are her people, no matter what has been done or what they've been through, they're her family. Monty made her see that. As everyone realizes that to do this, they have to do it together.

K - Yes! Finally!

M - Over in the City of Light, the once empty city is now full of people, bustling about. Jaha tells A.L.I.E not to worry (not that she can), that they'll get Raven back. They'll get them all. "With Raven's abilities she'll be able to understand what she learned here. They'll know the second A.I can stop me.. We'll have to kill them all."

I don't think any more words are necessary to tell you how amazing this episode was. I have only one thing left to say.. Have you seen the promo for next week? It looks insane!

K - This episode was amazing and next week looks just as amazing! Although this episode crushed me, I'm just so happy that the gang (well most of them) are all back together, fighting together, and surviving together. They are stronger when they put all of their mind's together and I know they'll defeat A.L.I.E and her City of Light!

Demons Promo:

You can watch season 1 and 2 of The 100 on Netflix now! Remember to tune in every Thursday at 9/8c to watch The 100 live on The CW.
Join us that weekend as we recap episode twelve. We can't wait to discuss all things The 100 with you!